No Yellow Walls in Childcare Settings!

"I love my daycare space! It's bright and happy with a sunny yellow color on the walls."

My response to my provider friend: an internal, "NOOOOOooooooo!"

There’s a reason you never see yellow in an airplane.

Take a good long look at the above block of yellow. Does it make you feel dizzy after a moment? Maybe even a little nauseated? If so, you’re in good company. A number of studies have shown that the color yellow can cause dizziness and nausea. For this reason, it’s often used sparingly (or very strategically) by those in advertising, and is almost never used in the interiors of various forms of transportation — most notably, airplanes.

https://www.onlinepsychologydegree.info/psychology-color/

Also hospitals, nursing homes, and....childcare settings.

I happen to be one of those people. The color yellow makes me physically ill. There's conjecture that something harmful that was the color yellow caused anxiety in my ancestors to the point that it altered our DNA to see the CAUTION sign of yellow. Possibly hornets or nightshade flowers. When we see it, we are thinking of danger, flight/fight, self-preservation, and our nervous systems go into panic mode. 

Since it is a genetic thing, there's no turning it off. 

The last thing you want is to have children in an internal panic the moment they walk into a room. You may not understand their reaction, they definitely don't. If you don't know that yellow can be a triggering color, you may never consider that a child had that genetic component, and instead chock the accompanying behavior to separation anxiety, non-compliance, just an ornery child, or other non-related contribution.

After talking to my friend about this phenomenon, she agreed that in looking back, there were definitely some children who showed signs of this trait. She just hadn't known. Her walls are no longer a "sunny yellow." She keeps that color for her personal space, since she loves it. 

Why Gifted Kids Sometimes Seem Behind

Most children have a desire to communicate and get themselves heard and understood. Most children have a need and desire for adult approval that leads them to do what is expected when expected. 

Gifted kids, often not so much.

However, all children perform better and with more enthusiasm when they see a REASON for their efforts, especially if that reason is personally gratifying through some enlightenment, intrigue or purpose. For gifted children, who often have so much going on in their heads, taking the time to focus and perform must have purpose, otherwise, they have better things to do.

It's not that they CAN'T do it.

I have a little girl, Miss A, who is going on 4. If she was an average child, I'd be looking at why she has not followed the normal developmental progression of drawing figures around the age of 3, and detailed figures by the age of 4. She makes little scribbles for people still, not even the "drawing" figures of a 2 year old, just random dark scribbles. 

But she's not average. She has a nearly photographic memory and at 3 3/4 can read nearly anything we place before her. She is artistic, creative, and music and has been dance inclined since birth. But drawing isn't her thing. Movement based expression and verbal expression are her strengths.

So I know why she doesn't draw figures. She doesn't see a purpose. 

The other two preschoolers have a need to put down on paper their story. They want to show it and tell it to their parents and others at some future time, and they want to make sure it is RIGHT. They put a lot of time and effort into getting their pictures the way they want them to be, and insist I journal their drawings in precise detail. 

Miss A, however, knows that she will be able to accurately tell her story to anyone at anytime. The picture in her head, which will always be there just the same, is so much grander than anything she could ever get down on a two dimensional piece of paper, that it just doesn't seem worth the time or effort to draw it. It will never be RIGHT. It will never be enough. She can draw her picture with words so much better. 

She'd rather write words. They have purpose. They can be perfect.

As her teacher, I know that her developmental level and intelligence level make it very apparent that she CAN draw figures. So I challenged her last week on Monday journal. She drew a circle for a dog. 

This week I challenged her again. I told her to look at her friends and draw them with shapes, starting with circles for their head and body. She drew a fairly detailed figure, exceeding the 10 identifiable features we look for in Kindergarten. 

It was perfect. In my estimation. 

She didn't really care, just shrugged when I complimented it, then started in telling me the story about her picture in extravagant detail. 

My oldest is gifted. He was nearly held back every year. When I took him out to homeschool, he was failing every class. Yet, he had an average test score in the high 90s in every subject. They wanted him to do worksheets, and games, and homework, projects and busy work. He found it painful to waste his time when he had better things to do. So he would go into his own head and spend his time there. He did great in college, though, because every class had a purpose towards his life goals.

My youngest is not gifted.. However, he has known from a very early age what he wants to be when he grows up. School work falls into three categories. 

1. I need to know this. I must master it. [Java]
2. I don't need to know this, but it is interesting, so I will find out everything I possibly can about it. [Mythology]
3. I will never use this in my life and it is a complete waste of time. [Diagramming sentences] 

As his teacher, it is my responsibility to ensure that he makes these determinations accurately, and with an understanding that he may change his life direction at some point in the future. But yeah, some of what is taught in the school years is simply a complete waste of time. Probably not as much as most high school students believe, but some.

Gifted children are still CHILDREN, with limited life experience and incomplete data. They need guidance, but most of all, they need understanding, challenge, and PURPOSE. 

This is why project based education is such a better fit for gifted students. When they have a topic that interests them, the surrounding educational component has an intense purpose to their learning. A gifted child may not know their times tables, yet be able to instantly spout accurate, detailed statistics about a subject that interests them. Using their interest as a pathway, it can be very easy to slide educational components, of high complexity, along that path they are ready to run, and it can lead to such amazing learning opportunities and extraordinary retention.

Always look at the whole child. Never focus on one small skill and miss the much bigger picture of the child's abilities.

Circle Time Circus

 

I was observing this morning, and once again am concerned about the desire to sit small children in a circle for circle time. It's done all over the world on the daily. That does not mean it is good ECE practice. 

Why does this concern me?

I've mentioned in the past that this type of circle time usually has a lot of classroom management entanglement. One teacher does the activity and another teacher, or two, are constantly correcting children into sitting properly and staying quiet. It often looks like a 3 Stooges skit, Whack-a-Mole, or herding cats.

The goal, is supposedly the learning activity. 

However, the actual lessons are the skills of:

• Staying in place
• Staying in crisscross applesauce
• Staying quiet unless appropriate
• Paying attention to the teacher
• Not looking around
• Not interacting with your friends

These are all REALLY hard skills to master for small children, let alone comply with all of them at once for an extended period of time. 

When you consider attention span to be 1 minute per age under 5, the expectation of a child under 5 to sit still, in position, and quiet, for much longer than that minute per age, is not developmentally appropriate practice.

Having to work so hard at the basic physical skills, means that most of the children do not have the extra attention to send towards the learning activity. It may catch their interest every so often, but they do not have the attention to focus. Retention is nearly non-existent. 

And as I've tried to reinforce, if they aren't moving, their brains aren't working optimally. So if a child is focused and paying attention, with all the wiggles distraction around her, coupled with minimal engagement, her retention of information, ability to analyze and compare the new information to old, is as nearly nonexistent as the child doing everything BUT paying attention.

The constant correction to sit in the right place, in the right manner, saying only the right things at the right times to the right people, for much longer than is developmentally appropriate, means the child feels frustration and failure. If kept far longer at the task than is comfortable, it can lead to anger, defiance, stress, anxiety, and physically acting out such as hitting a friend. Then, the child is really reprimanded and admonished for behavior that the child was pushed into by the adults.

So, the activity is pure frustration to both teachers and children, and of almost no value. And yet, centers and providers keep doing it.

When does circle time and other large group activities usually occur? As one of the first activities of the morning. This does not set up the day well. Circle time is actually a detriment to the rest of the day in many ways. Classroom management is already in play, tensions are high on all sides, the attempted "fun" was not had, the attempted learning was not accomplished. The bright potential of the day has been dimmed early. 

If it isn't working, why does it keep being done? Habit. Boxed curriculum. Expectation. Often it's the only "teaching" time provided. Easy routine. Sorry to say it, but lazy or in-experienced teaching. 

What to do differently

• Keep it short. Break up something like circle time into small bite-size segments and sprinkle them throughout the day.
• Don't expect young children to sit still, it's not natural for them.
• Don't expect young children to sit quietly and wait a turn for more than a couple of minutes. 
• Make sure as many children as possible can participate at once.
• Differentiate instruction for different attention spans, interests, or capabilities. Not all children have to participate in all activities at all times. 
• Teach the same lessons through play or day. Count the blocks, ask for the red car, spell their name out together as you get something from their cubby. That individualized instruction will stick much better in a receptive mind.
• Make it free-choice to join or leave. 

Children learn so much by just being in the presence of information. They pick up what interests them when they are in the right mind-set to pick it up. Through repetition and exposure, they will pick it up even without direct formal instruction. I've taught a lot of skills from just singing a little ditty about it throughout the day. Children are drawn to music and you'd be surprised what giving them an ear worm can accomplish.

We need to set children, and teachers, up for success. Traditional instruction often puts children and teachers as adversaries rather than a team. That needs to change. No child should ever feel less-than because teachers are asking him to perform at a developmentally IN-appropriate level.

Teaching Penmanship

I do not begin with writing instruction until right before a child leaves for kindergarten. Usually it is a late spring/summer thing. I'm starting it earlier with this group, in February, because they want to learn it. Actually, they are DEMANDING to learn it. The whole purpose of writing is to convey meaning, and these boys have a lot to say, the ability to compose it, and now they require the means to do so.

Forcing penmanship early and often does nothing more than make it a chore. Working on a letter a day/week with complete disconnection to reading and writing, is one of the things I believe is wrong with our school, and pre-school, system. 

Forcing it early also breeds frustration, feelings of failure, and a dislike for education over all. Why? Because in order for a child to be able to properly form letters, stay within lines, etc., he must have a ton of other things in place first:

• Advanced fine motor skills
• Tripod grasp
• Hand strength
• Crossing-the-midline
• Core strength
• Ability to focus and pay attention
• Depth perception
• Eye tracking
• One-to-one correspondence

Children under the age of 5 have better ways of developing these necessary skills and competencies than forced writing they probably don't have the ability to do with success.

As with all the things I teach, I look for that pivotal moment when the learning is developmentally appropriate, and DESIRED.

There are keys to determining if a child is ready to put in the tedious time and attention to learn correct penmanship.

• Can color in an entire coloring page without prompting
• Is drawing independently for fun
• Is telling stories about their drawings
• Is attempting writing on their own
• Is doing inventive spelling
• Is asking how to spell
• Is asking how to write letters and numbers

All of these must be in place. FIRST.

These worksheets 1-8 are what I use for my pre-k’s Penmanship Boot Camp that we do before kindergarten. This is the order we do them. They do the same one each day for 2-3 days, or until they get down proper formation of all letters on the worksheet. Only then do they move to the next one. 

Each worksheet works specific movements and shapes that coordinate. It makes it easier to get down muscle memory. I watch them carefully as they make the first letter. If they need to, I simply have them repeat OVER the first one as many times as necessary to get the formation down, talking through the movements. Then I have them fill in the rest of the line on their own.

A bootcamp is not a whole-class experience. It is very individualized attention to target key movements in an intensive, short period of time. When we do the penmanship boot camp, we are working on very little else at that time. I do not want their minds going in any other direction. Outside of worksheet practice, I encourage them to be writing lists, stories, plays, letters, creating cards, etc. 

ONLY DURING THIS TIME do I begin to correct their handwriting. Until this 2-3 week boot camp, I have let them write inventively to encourage that desire and not squash it. Only now, when they truly WANT to learn to write and spell well do I intervene and we learn how to do it properly. 

It is truly a once and done thing. It doesn’t take a letter a week, or a year of schooling, or starting too young when their fine motor skills are not fully up to the task. It is EASY to get penmanship down when a child truly not only wants, but NEEDS to learn it for himself, and is fully developmentally ready. As with most things.

The order we practice is:

l h i j
b p d o
r n m u
c a g q
e t f z
w x k y
s 8 6 9
2 3 5 4

Number 1 is the same as letter l, letter v is in letter w, and letter o is the same as number 0, so I leave those out. No need for repetition.

File is FREE on TPT!  8 worksheets and letter and number practice sheets. The letter and number practice sheets are FREE CHOICE. We do not do those as "lesson" worksheets. They also have their name worksheets, with first and last name, as free-choice practice as well.

Oh, these are only lowercase letters? YEP! Uppercase letters are easy. 95% of what they write should be in lowercase letters like normal writing. Seriously. Look at this paragraph and how many letters are uppercase and how many lowercase? It's another thing that goes REALLY sideways - teaching children penmanship of uppercase letters and having them WRITE in all uppercase. This creates a VERY bad habit that is hard to break. 

Here, we learn uppercase, lowercase and phonics simultaneously, and these children have had those down for a loooong time. These children are reading. Yes, BEFORE they learn penmanship. So lowercase penmanship is appropriate. As it should be. Any uppercase issues we either have already addressed or will in writing sessions. There is no reason to spend a lot of time or effort on it.

Why this works is because I provide each child several minutes of direct instruction, moving their hand myself for each letter if necessary. Then, they make a TON of copies. 

First time through!

If they don't get it pretty much perfectly the first day, we will do it again the next. There is no forcing them to sit and practice, they WANT to do it.  

So after that, Mr. R did this for FUN. Often, they will continue to practice on their own. 

            

Then he evidently went home and chose to do even MORE writing. Chose being the operative word. His parents don't ask him to do anything there, they just facilitate his interest. 
As do I.

You might be interested in my earlier [2013] blog post on this subject that has over 10,000 views.

preschool, pre-k, kindergarten, childcare, child care, daycare, writing, handwriting, penmanship, worksheets, language, language arts, fine motor, 

Preparing Baby for Daycare

Transitioning a baby to daycare doesn't begin when you hand your infant off on the first day to your provider. It starts waaaaay before then. 

For your peace of mind, your child care provider's ability to provide quality care, and your infant's emotional and physical comfort, there are several things that need to be accomplished long before that first day of child care.

For a successful transition:

• Baby must be bottle trained
• Baby must be able to nap well in the crib or pack-n-play your provider uses
• Baby must be used to safe sleep practices
• Baby must be able to fall asleep on own
• Baby must be able to spend time not being held
• Baby should be able to self-soothe to some degree by 4 months

It is very easy while on maternity leave, especially with your first child, to breast feed exclusively, hold your baby all the time, let your baby fall asleep on the breast, and hold your baby while sleeping. You want that closeness and to spend as much time as possible with your infant. 

Unfortunately, all these things set your infant up for having a very rough transition to a daycare situation, and possibly the loss of your daycare position. Even if you have a wonderful and attentive provider, they have other children to take care of as well. Lunch must be made, diapers changed, altercations mediated, learning taught. One infant can not consume 100% of a provider's time and attention. 

A parent and infant that expects or demands that, will need to find a provider willing and able to accommodate those needs. Since sleep practices are regulated by licensing, that can mean needing an in-home nanny who is not under the same regulations, or an illegal provider. A quality licensed provider will not be placing an infant at risk, even at the parent's request.

BOTTLE TRAINING

The earlier you introduce the bottle, the better the result. As soon as good breastfeeding is established, the introduction of a bottle a few times a week will help your infant transition to day bottle feeding during child care much easier. Introduction just a few days or even weeks prior to going into daycare, will be a struggle. I currently have a 15 week baby that took more than 3 weeks of daily 3 bottles a day training to even BEGIN to take the bottle with any level of success. She was exclusively breastfed while mom was home. She had never had a bottle and refused that plastic nipple even being near her mouth. Quite vocally. Starting earlier is easier. For everyone, including your baby. 

Baby should be taking a bottle on the same schedule as they will at daycare, at minimum, the last two weeks before transitioning into care. If there will be no option for you to come breast feed, there shouldn't be any option of that at home those last two weeks, either. 

Even if you plan to breastfeed every feeding at your child care provider's, your baby should still be bottle trained unless you can GUARANTEE that you will be able to make those feedings. No meetings that go over, no late phone calls, no car accidents or bad traffic in your commute, etc. You can't leave a hungry baby screaming with your provider with no way for them to accommodate your child's needs. 

Keep in mind that exclusive breastfeeding also means your baby will have a very difficult time if you get sick or in an accident, they get sick and need to go into a hospital, you want to go out for an evening or go away for a weekend, you need to take certain medications if you get sick, or would like to have alcohol every once in a while and be able to pump-and-dump for 24 hours afterward. 

Very few infants have "nipple confusion" after breastfeeding is established at about the 4 week mark. They want their mom connection and the taste and feel of the breast, and will go between bottle and breast with little fuss once trained. 

Once baby is old enough to have an opinion, it can be difficult to bottle train. There are some tricks:

• Provide a nipple that mimics mom's breast and nipple size OR
• Provide a nipple that is similar to their pacifier if they use one
• As with a binky, begin by just having them play with it in the mouth
• Have dad or someone else give the bottle
• Give the bottle in a position other than the one for breastfeeding
• Give the bottle when you know baby is hungry
• Try holding a shirt or blanket with mom's smell next to baby's head
• If baby refuses to take breastmilk from a bottle, try formula. If formula works, gradually mix it with breastmilk in increasing quantities until baby is back to taking breastmilk exclusively.
• Make sure bottle is warm enough, it needs to be body temperature

What causes problems: 

• Not starting early
• Not starting early enough to have it completed in time for care
• Liking that baby only wants mom, not fair to baby
• Not pumping prior to care to know how much can be produced and creating a back up supply of frozen breast milk
• Assuming baby will take a bottle from the provider, in a new environment with new sights, sounds, smells and people, when baby is already stressed from starting at a new place

Most providers require infants to be bottle trained prior to starting care.

HOLDING

I hold my infants to 4 months as much as possible. I have a lot of experience and am able to do almost everything with an infant in my arms. When not in my arms, the infant is in their carrier, pack-n-play or bouncer right next to me. I am able to talk and interact with the baby at all times. However, I can't hold them the entire time. They must be okay with the separation and just being close, seeing my face and hearing my voice.

 

Your baby needs tummy time and to spend time near, but off, of you. Holding an infant 24/7 is fine for the first weeks, but they need to build the muscles for rolling and that takes time down on the floor. They need to know that not being held is not being abandoned and to be okay with it.

Over 5 months, a baby should be on the floor most of the time. Spending time on the floor with a constantly changing variety of toys and sensory items is what builds physical strength, proprioception sense, vestibular balance, crossing-the-midline ability, cognitive connections, resiliency, cause/effect understanding, visual acuity, and so many more developmental markers. Being held, sitting in a stationary exersaucer, and using any other contraption that holds an infant in a fixed position is detrimental to their growth and development. It is vitally important for their physical, mental, emotional and cognitive growth that they be allowed to spend time alone on the floor exploring and moving. 

What causes problems:

• Hold 24/7
• Expect provider to do the same
• Expect baby to be okay with not being held exclusively once in care, even though they are not okay with it at home [we are not magicians]
• Not providing tummy time and other physical growth opportunities so that once in care, baby is not developmentally able to perform at an age-appropriate level

SLEEPING

Legally, providers must practice safe sleep practices. Infants must be placed on their backs in a pack-n-play or crib to sleep with nothing more than a plain pacifier. Period. Sleeping in a carrier, bouncer, baby hammock or even in the arms can place the infant in danger of positional asphyxiation. 

If a baby is allowed to sleep on a parent's chest, laying face down for naps, the transition to care is going to be VERY difficult. You've got a level of warmth, heart beat sound, face-down position, smell and body feel all to overcome before the infant can sleep in a daycare situation. This is SO far outside of how the infant will need to be taking naps at daycare, that it is very difficult to overcome once this becomes the baby's norm. 

NOOOOooooo!

Establishing your care situation as early as possible, you can find out if your future provider will be using a crib or pack-n-play, which music or white noise they use, level of light in the nap area, etc. so that you can mimic those factors as early as possible to get your infant comfortable with how they will be sleeping in care.

We often can't take the time to rock them to sleep, and we can't allow them to fall asleep on the bottle. We need to be able to place them in their crib or pack-n-play, on their back, and have them go to sleep with reassurance and soft touches.

Even the most chill daycare will have crying babies, screaming toddler drama, bickering preschoolers. Add in some banging, music, chatter, etc. and daycare is NOT a quiet place. Infants, especially for morning nap, must be able to sleep through noise. Putting them down in a quiet room by themselves all the time is setting them up for sleep problems at daycare. At minimum, have music or TV playing while they sleep in the morning and go about your regular activities. My infants sleep through the vacuum, dogs barking and all the other noises that go on here.  

What causes problems:

• Letting baby fall asleep on the breast or bottle 
• Holding baby in any manner while sleeping
• Not putting baby to sleep in a crib or pack-n-play as will be required at daycare, especially for naps, while at home
• Not practicing safe sleep practices/back-2-sleep
• Swaddling beyond 2 months when daycare can't
• Using a white noise your provider can't replicate
• Using a Wubbanub, blanket, or other lovey for sleep time that can't be used at daycare for sleep
• Having baby sleep in a quiet environment

SELF-SOOTHING

Parents, especially new parents, are quick to pick up and soothe at every peep their infant makes. Soothing is not at all bad, but when infants associate any little discomfort or irritation with being held, cuddled, rocked, cooed and entertained, it doesn't allow the natural progression of self-soothing. "Babies who can self-soothe sleep for longer periods and have longer total sleep times at night." Infants should begin to learn to self-soothe at 3-4 months and a 6 month old should have the ability.

A child care provider may be dealing with another child when baby starts to fuss, and unless the infant is in emotional distress, the infant may have to wait their turn.

Helping with self soothing:

• Give the opportunity for your infant to self-soothe by not immediately jumping in to "fix" the situation
• Watch for self-soothing behavior and only step in if the baby seems to be escalating in need for assistance
• If necessary, soothe with sounds, words and soothing touch [gentle pats, back rub] rather than holding, rocking  and full physical contact when possible

What causes problems:

• Respond with soothing to every little peep their infant makes
• Soothing with breast/bottle feeding
• Soothing immediately with picking up rather than sounds, words or touch first

SCHEDULE

I've seen mom blogs say that you need to get your baby on a schedule before they go into care. I disagree. A good provider is aware of developmentally appropriate practice and one of those practices is that infants are allowed to eat and sleep on demand. Especially until 6 months. At 6 months babies generally navigate into a regular schedule. However, this will always be at the whim of teething, gas, growth phases, changes in family schedule, any time away from parents or in a new environment, changes to routine, etc. Never get complacent with an infant schedule. As soon as you do, it will change.

The rhythms of a daycare setting are very different from the ones at home, and while a general schedule of morning nap, eating every 2-3 hours and afternoon nap are in play, schedules are never meant to be rigid for infants. Even older children often have different sleep needs when in a growth phase. I had a 5 year old who hadn't napped in a year suddenly start needing one when he took a massive growth spurt of an inch in a month. Your provider will want to know what the general schedule has been at home will try to accomodate that to some extent. More so, the provider will look to your baby for cues of hunger and tiredness and respond accordingly. 

Forcing your infant to stay up, go hungry, or pushing your baby to eat when it is full, is not appropriate. Babies need what they need when they need it. 

CONCLUSION

When all of these things are in place, your infant and provider can focus on building an emotional bond, a trust bond. Your infant can focus on becoming familiar and comfortable with the new environment in a state of being well rested with a full tummy. Having those basic needs met with little to no issue, will make the transition a MUCH easier one, on your baby, your provider, and YOU.

When in doubt, ask yourself, "Would I be doing this if I had six children?" 

If your answer is no, and you plan for your baby to go into daycare, then your parenting should, at least most of the time, help your baby prepare for a child care setting.

Loaded Baked Potato Soup

This is one of their most requested meals. Of course, it isn't as healthy as some. Go figure. Using frozen hash browns is the time saver. My main goal with this one is to introduce rosemary to their palate. 

32 oz bag of frozen Southern Style hashbrown potatoes (veggie)
16 oz bag frozen broccoli florets (veggie)
32 oz organic all natural chicken stock (protein)
4 T butter (dairy)
4 oz cream cheese (protein)
8 oz cheddar cheese (protein)
2.5 oz or 1/2 C crumbled bacon (protein)
1-2 T rosemary garlic seasoning blend
8-12 oz milk (protein)

• Heat bacon in stock pot
• Add in and bring to boil potatoes, broccoli, seasoning and stock  
• Reduce to medium heat and cook 30 minutes or until potatoes are fork tender 
• Puree with an immersion blender 
• Add butter and cream cheese, let melt 
• Add cheddar cheese 
• Add milk to desired consistency 
• Serve with crumbled wheat or multi-grain crackers 

The addition of the refrigerated ingredients after cooking, brings the soup to a perfect immediate serving temperature for the children.

If you need to make this quicker, the frozen potatoes and broccoli can be either defrosted in the fridge the prior day (preferred) or defrosted in the microwave first.

I have also put the bacon bits, stock, frozen potatoes, frozen broccoli and seasoning into a crockpot on low the night prior, or on high as soon as I wake up, to have it ready to assemble from there for lunch.

10 Things to Discuss With Your Child Before the Family Christmas

For our Christmas party we make crafts, drink Grinch juice and hot cocoa, make gingerbread people and do a small optional gift exchange with dollar items. It’s an opportunity for the children, especially the 3.5yo+ children, to discuss and practice societal norms and expectations before heading to family events and the mayhem and high emotions involved.

It teaches:

1. Giving is hard, especially if the item being given is something you really want.

2. Gifts are new toys and you shouldn’t expect someone to be willing to share their new toys, and you may not want to share yours, either. And that's okay.

3. Wait your turn to unwrap a gift. It’s not WWF.

4. Unwrap with care, gifts can be broken.

5. Show gratitude when opening a gift. Someone put a lot of thought and effort into getting it especially for you.

6. It’s the thought that counts. Keep any displeasure at the gift to yourself.

7. Offer kisses, hugs, high five, handshake or a simple “Thank you” to the person who gave you the gift, depending upon your comfort level with the giver.

8. You may politely decline personal space invasion. “I don’t feel like a hug right now. May I shake your hand?” Understand that there may be people around you that are your family, but you don’t know them or know them well. They will want to show you their love, but it may be uncomfortable for you.

9. Ask consent before you invade a person’s personal space, especially little kids who may feel overwhelmed and may not know you well. “Can I give you a hug? Ok. How about a fist bump?”

10. If things get overwhelming, it’s ok to ask your parents for a retreat time to some place quiet for a few minutes to just talk it out and relax.

We also talk about that opening presents is about opening presents, not playing with presents. That time will come afterward.

They know about being responsible and picking up, but those lesson can be lost in the mayhem, so we talk about that, too.

A time of joy and family can be overwhelming to young children. I try to prep them a bit to handle it as gracefully as possible.

parenting, child care, daycare, preschool, pre-k, teaching, holiday, holidays, Christmas, xmas, kids, children,